Everybody Does It

Oh, I know, I know, I know.. but it doesn't make it any easier.

I volunteer with a hospice in town. I've been with them, helping patients, for over four years now. My current patient is very ill and in the hospital. I do not think he'll come out, it's pretty bad.

I know everyone dies. I know it's because of sin. I know that God did not intend for us to be like this. It just doesn't make the heaviness I feel in my heart go away. It doesn't make me any happier.

I didn't think I was this attached to my patient, but after visiting them tonight, I really wanted to give them a kiss on the cheek or something; you know? I felt weird not touching them in some way.. I couldn't hold their "good" hand because they had so many things poked into it. So I put my hand on their forehead. Not as loving, but at least it was the touch.

Touch is so important. People who say they are not a "touchy feely" person have been broken too many times and probably need the hug more than they realize.

I don't want my patient to be alone. I don't think anyone should be alone when they are nearing the end of their life. That's not how we are made. We were made with that need for something or someone else. That can only be filled by God. That hole we have.. it's what you might call a God Shaped Hole.

For now I will pray for peace in the suffering for my patient ... my friend.